DISCLAIMER:this is a satire of my vent.
Yes i love being undiagnosed but only with "suspect of Autism" in my childhood and then receiving thousand of harmful labels (ex:lazy, dumb, childlike etc.)
Yes i love when i cannot figure what is irony, sarcasm and metaphor until someone advices it because my brain couldn't read the meanings.
Yes i love being considered "childlike" because my behaviors aren't too appropriated for my age nor my interests that are considered too "childish" and as someone with also childhood traumas i struggle a lot with growing up and i wish to be a child again.
Yes i love having slow development of my skills, having speech delay until at age 2-3 years old, and do basic things such being self taught to wear clothes by myself only at age 13 with issues to adapt myself.
Yes i love when most of time i can't focuse in one more thing and do two or more stuff at the same time without feeling stressed and anxious.
Yes i love having inappropriate acts and in words to later wonder myself "why the hell did i do that?"
Yes i love having coping with anger and crying and then having more lack of control in my emotions and even crying when i am totally tired.
Yes i love having more ability to remember mostly of things but even the memories i wish i could erase forever.
Yes i love having lack of notion in danger as i have lots of traumatic memories about how naive i am even if in nowdays i an doing my best to be aware in dangers.
Yes i love having hyperfixations that could also disturb in my own process and interactions if i am doing something more serious and important (fuck you if you are one of those teens who glorifies it).
Yes i love being more hectic when i am anxious or hungry.
Yes i love making "weird noises" according to my state and physical repetitive movements or verbal ones, especially from others words.
Yes i love being extremely uncomfortable in places full of people, but only finding peace with lonely or with smallest numbers of people.
Yes i love the fact i had total struggles at dealing with changes as i felt more depressed.
Yes i love being explosive with my feelings i am terribly bad at dealing with, even forming proper words without making people take off context while explaining.
Yes i love when my friendships can't get longer forever because i couldn't and making it stay longer.
Yes i love being extremely stressed and nervous when i see something full of informations and then giving up at searching for something more simple before my mind explode.
Yes i love the mistreatment i received for misunderstanding of who i possibly actually i am after all that.
Yes i love being food selective that i also go for the structure (ex:i hate cheese, but i only like in pizza).
Yes i love being born with a different vision from this world than others who weren't born like that.
Yes i love the fact i am going to die still being labelled as past harmful things from someone who is now in the 20s and still undiagnosed which it could be a big relief if i talk to a profesional about it.
Yes i love feeling as if i am not made for this world but belong from another which i was born.